Frank2112 Twitter Feed

    Follow Frank2112 on Twitter
    Showing posts with label just kidding. Show all posts
    Showing posts with label just kidding. Show all posts

    Thursday, May 21, 2009

    Thursday Night Quotes:

    Wife: "You're not listening to me!"

    Husband: "My god, you're right. Now why is that? Why would that be...we have a conundrum here. A mystery. The game is afoot. I shall begin my investigation at the nearest pub, don't wait up."
    ___________________________

    Woman of ill repute: "YOU are the man I've been looking for."

    Man: "No, I'm his brother. I'll tell him you said hi, though."
    ____________________________

    Amazon "Milk" reviews. No, I'm not kidding, too Funny. http://tiny.cc/cU8Oz

    Wednesday, May 6, 2009

    Fun with Trek.

    Warning: Not work safe!
    No Eating or Drinking and please keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times.

    Star Trek: The Motion Picture (Pon Farr Edition) from Darth Mojo on Vimeo.


    Thanks to Karen for sending this our way.

    Monday, September 8, 2008

    World to end this week?

    Here is how this works, people are worried that when CERN starts it's new, super sized, super collider later this week it may spawn mini-blackholes or otherwise generate exotic paritcles that lead to the end of life as we know it. Utter hogwash. 


    A much more likely scenario goes like this. 
    Cern starts the new gizmo and after it starts building up to full power over the next several months, it will generate exotic particles that we have never seen before and answer questions about the big bang and the origin of the universe. 

    Of course, if you were an hostile alien civilization elsewhere in the universe (or perhaps in an alternate dimension), and you were looking for advanced civilizations that might pose a threat to you, you might be inclined to scan the known eleven dimensions for such extemly rare exotic particles. 
    You might futhermore be inclined to track them back to their source and deploy your mini kill bots and larger blunt bottomed, structure smashing, transformer like, civilation killer bots to crush anything larger than a two story house.

    I'm just saying is all. 

    Why stop there though, maybe we are on the cusp of extraterrestrial contact with a friendly, post singularity civilzation also on the look out for those self same exotic particles that only a super super collider can produce. 

    Maybe the good friendly aliens and the hostile aliens fight it out in some higher dimension and we get caught in the middle. Or maybe we never even know about this battle between titans. 

    Most probable of all though is that we'll have to keep trudging along at our current pace, just as we have been, for a little while longer at least. 

    Saturday, August 2, 2008

    YouTube - Font Conference

    YouTube - Font Conference

    This is ridiculous but it really made me laugh.
    "You're insane! Nobody uses Microsoft Works."
    "Mailbox! Open Mailbox!"

    Thursday, July 31, 2008

    Al Gore Places Infant Son In Rocket To Escape Dying Planet




    EARTH—Gore's son Kal-Al is faster than a speeding Prius,
    stronger than the EPA's Superfund program, and able to leap
    mountains of red tape in a sin...

    Here's what you can do next:
    Learn more about Google's sharing button


    This from the Onion via Patrick.
    I really must learn to stop opening his links first thing in the morning.

    Monday, July 14, 2008

    Shore Leave

    Just a couple of quick notes here from Shore Leave:
    As always happens at these events the space time continuum broke down, lurched from one dimension to another, rolled around on the floor a bit, then settled down, had a drink and finally righted itself by midday Sunday. Between Friday night and Sunday however much fun was had by most.

    A Romulan Commander: "What the hell is she drinking?" Gina whispered.
    "With Romulans," I replied quietly, "it's best not to ask."

    Benjamin Franklin showed up for a bit. On meeting Gina and realizing when he was, he was heard to lament: "Ah, to be 170 again."

    Barbarella started disputing the bar bill, and things looked dicey, but local station law man O'Niel showed up and quickly set things right.

    Dinner with Klingons - "Vegetables are not food! Vegetables are what food eats!" he declared.
    "Relax," I said, "try the Salmon. It taste just like wild Targ."

    Tuesday, April 22, 2008

    Today . . . I feel like this guy!

    The guy who receives the call.

    Today, that's me.

    Wednesday, April 16, 2008

    Iron Man trailer to be extened in to full feature. (from the Onion)



    I see this as possibly, frighteningly prophetic in this age of short and ever decreasing attention span entertainment. Good stuff though. I love the scroll on these things.

    Monday, March 31, 2008

    April Fools 2008!: New artificial virus turns people into Zombies

    A new genetically engineered virus has been developed by a private research firm in Texas, that reportedly causes an infection similar to meningitis. However instead of being potentially lethal the viral infection affects that brain and body in such a way that people become literal zombies. Subjects exposed to the pathogen develop symptoms over a 24 hour incubation period that include a gray pallor with bruising, drooling, reduced body temperature, white irises, blackened fingernails and other zombie like physiological side effects.
    According to Dr. Robert Langstrom of Optigenictec in Texas said “We weren't expecting anything like this, we were actually doing research on a treatment for shingles.”
    Additionally sufferers lose the power of speech and become sensitive to light.

    Sunday, March 16, 2008

    SNL: Tracey Morgan



    I got a good laugh out of this.

    "Why is it that whenever a black man gets too good at something in this country there's always someone to come around and remind us that he's black?"
    "I have a theory about that. It's a little complicated, but basically it goes like this; We are a racist country! The end!"
    - Tracey Morgan

    Thursday, December 20, 2007

    Merry XMAS and Santa Bot

    I am so busy I can't even remember my own name most of the day these days. However I wanted to put something fresh up for the holiday so here he is, one of my favorite characters ever,
    the Futurama Santa Bot.

    Here are some quick quotes:
    "Let's see who's been naughty, and who's been naughty!"

    "Mobsters beating up shopkeeper for protection money: very naughty.
    Shopkeeper not paying protection money: exactly as naughty!"


    The Xmas song:
    He knows when your are sleeping,
    He knows when you're on the can,
    He'll hunt you down and blast your ass from here to Pakistan.
    You better not breathe, you better not move,
    You're better off dead, I'm telling you, dude.
    Santa Claus is gunning you down!


    And finally from The Futurama Encyclopedia

    Santa Bot:

    "Santa Bot was created by the Momcorp subsidiary Mom's Friendly Robot Co. to determine who had been naughty and nice, and distribute presents accordingly. Unfortunately, Santa's standards were set too high and he invariably finds everyone to be naughty (except Dr. Zoidberg). He then stalks the streets, hunting down the naughty people and kicking some naughty ass with his arsenal of high-powered weaponry. In the future everyone stays inside after sundown on Xmas Eve unless they have a death wish, as the suicide booths all have long queues at that time of the year."

    Merry XMAS . . . everyone!

    Thursday, November 1, 2007

    Greatest movie PSA . . . EVER!

    This should be played before every movie! Every Movie!
    Also I'd like this played at my funeral.
    It's Thursday night, and me and the boys sit down to watch the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie and I'm not kidding we could not get past this opening.
    Patrick almost blacked out, I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe at all, Collins almost choked to death on his drink. The rest of the movie is okay, whatever, but this was unbelievable!
    WARNING: This is profane. Not work safe! No kids in the room please.
    Sit yourself down take a big sip of of you favorite drink and hit play, quick before they pull it.
    http://www.gametrailers.com/player/usermovies/97982.html


    Tuesday, October 23, 2007

    Finding Jesus.

    Good news everyone, I found Jesus!
    Turns out he's been back for awhile now and has been hanging out at the Maryland Renaissance Festival.
    He looked good.
    I spoke with him a bit and he was nice.
    He says he likes the fair and that he just feels more comfortable hanging out there. I asked him about the world of today and he said that it was cool but that people should take more responsibility for themselves and their actions.
    Also he suggest that everyone should read more Science Fiction.
    I asked him about some of the things people have done in his name over the last 2000 plus years and he was somber.
    He said, "Listen, did you ever play telephone? You know, where everyone stands in a circle and the first person whispers a message to the next person and the next person whispers it to the person after them, and so on, passing it along, and then you see how the message has changed by the time it reaches the last person?"
    I said, "sure".
    "Well" he said, "try playing that over two thousand years, and half a dozen languages, and see what you get."
    I said that I saw his point.
    Then he went off to drink some more.

    Monday, August 13, 2007

    Tigga Pleez!!!


    Just gimme the honey!