Here it is, my review of the new Star Trek Movie.
Final Warning - Spoilers Ahead:
Do not read this if you haven’t seen it yet.
You know when people make jokes about those really extreme Star Trek Fans. I AM that guy! I have a rule that there is not to be any Star Trek that I don’t know all about. I know more about the Star Trek universe and its lore than, well, than just about anybody. I’m not boasting here, I’m just giving it to you straight. I don’t memorize who wrote and directed which episodes or their original air dates and I don’t claim to be an expert on the behind the scenes, day to day details. Also I don’t look much like the average fan boys the media likes to portray us as, I don’t live in my parent’s basement and I have a wife and a real life - but if you want to know what Warp fields are measured in or discuss the Vulcan Philosophy of IDIC or just about any detail of Starship Operations - I'm your man. Before we talk about the new Star Trek Movie I just think you need to know who you’re dealing with.
To start with I want to talk about what was good in this movie. There is a lot to like here. First and foremost the actors were great. They really manage to capture the characters without coming off like imitations. Second the special effects were just this side of perfect. Also the action was really well done. It is exciting and very cool looking.
Now I’d like to talk about the things I was okay with. I was okay with the Spock love interest. I was okay with the changes to the timeline and, yes, I’m even okay with recognizing that the “Enterprise” series and this movie are now the only true canon. Everything else (and I mean everything else) are washed away and must be reset.
Fine.
So here we are - all disclaimers in place and ready to go.
First a minor technical note - I really did not like that when we are on the bridge there is apparently a search light spinning just out of frame and regularly blinding us. In fact I hated this. I thought, when I saw this in the trailers, that is was just for the sake of the trailers - but no that’s the way those scenes are shot.
This is as I say and by comparison a minor technical note.
Here is an prime example of what I really did not like about the new Star Trek movie.
It all starts when Spock says about Kirk; “Get him off the ship” and no one asks, ‘I’m sorry acting Captain, is something wrong with our brig?’
Spock arbitrarily decides to send Kirk, his First Officer at his point ‘overboard’ in what looks like a single man escape pod onto the ice planet Delta Vega.
You know, because Star Fleet officers do that kind of thing all the time.
Wait though, we’re not done. We then have a drawn out scene with the ice creatures of Delta Vega (there’s always a bigger ice creature) and then ‘Professor McGuffin from the Exposition Institute’ shows up and saves him. By which I mean Spock Prime, who has been marooned on the same ice world by Nero, by complete coincidence, so he can watch the destruction of his home world, which he does, unaided, even though it’s in another star system, just happens to be right where Kirk is! Not merely on the same forsaken planet, but literally just a short run from where Kirk’s pod lands.
Wait though because we’re still not done. On the nearby base, also shipped off to the gulag Delta Vega for screwing up, by Admiral Archer no less, they find Scotty.
(Why not just have Baltar and Six show up as angels and tell us they arranged the whole thing.)
After this we have the horrible Scotty beams himself into the Enterprise’s water system scene (reminiscent of Charlie and the Chocolate factory) and his unlikely escape. I won’t go into how many things are wrong with that scenario but I trust my point is made.
Another thing that really stretches the imagination is Kirk going from Cadet directly to Captain of the Enterprise. Who knows though, maybe Spock Prime put a good word in for him.
There are other plot holes that one could fly a Galaxy Class Starship through but these are illustrative of the overall problem.
Having said all of this though, I want to also say that it is clear to me that this film is going to be wildly popular. JJ Abrams seems to have really struck a chord with the Zeitgeist in this movie and all of my nitpicking and ranting aside, people really love this film. As I said there is a lot to like about it. I just wish they had put a little more work into the plot issues. I mean Spock Prime was from the future for crying out loud, if he had worked his way to Delta Vega from wherever Nero had dropped him off because he knew Scotty was stationed on Delta Vega at that time or something, anything, it would have been so much more believable and enjoyable.
Overall though I give the movie Six out of Ten and, of course, I will see it again, and again, …..
